Advice from my 90-year old self

Dear 54-year old Deb ~

Well, here we are at the ripe age of 90 and what a great life it's been! It took the first 54 years to figure out what we wanted to do with this life, and once we figured it out we never looked back. Life's been very good to us so far.

Yoga made the biggest difference. Investing time for yoga teacher training was a great choice! We've been able to help others that way, and yoga has helped keep us healthy and strong. Just wait until you see us hold downward facing dog at 90!

All that time we spent making quilts (and other handmade gifts) for others was totally worth it. Worth every single minute. Keep making stuff!

Honey, we spent an awful lot of time worrying about things that never happened. We still work on that and have gotten better as the years have rolled on. Carrie is 63-years old, for crying out loud. She's taken great care of herself so stop worrying!

Remember how we always swore that once Whiskers was gone there'd be no more cats? Quit swearing.

54-year old Deb, where in the world are we going to put one more piece of mandala artwork? We really need to start giving this stuff away so that Carrie and the grandkids won't have to deal with it when we're gone.

We were never able to change other people and it's a shame we spent so much time hoping to. Live and let live is one of our favorite mottos.

Loving everyone is hard, but try anyway. When we love and accept others, it's easier to love and accept ourselves.

Girl, we learned to grow an amazing garden! You should see all the pretty roses and plump tomatoes we have now. There was a learning curve beyond sunflowers, but practice made darn near perfect. Keep digging!

Every generation has had its share of bad stuff to deal with, and every generation thinks it's never been so bad. It has. Remember that every generation has had its share of greatness too. Always look to the great side of things.

I'm so glad we took the time to document our stories through scrapbooking and blogging. Pass me that 2012 Project Life book, please.

We've been human in every sense of the word. Mistakes, victories, hopes and dreams and disappointments, love and mix-ups. We learned to forgive our self and others - one of the toughest things to do but I'm glad we stuck with it. Forgiveness is a beautiful thing.

Put down the wine glass. Oh, who am I kidding? Pour me another, will you?

Well done on living life to its fullest, Debbie Dear.

With so much self-love and compassion,

♥ ~ Myself @ 90
 

PS: Sunscreen and a hat. Enough said.

____________________________________________

 

What would your 90-year old self have to say to you? ♥

The Appreciation-to-Criticism Ratio, 5:1

I came home from a recent workshop and announced, "Hey, Doug, I would like for you to appreciate me for something..."

"What's that, Dear?" was his reply.

"No..." I explained. "I want you to come up with something on your own that you appreciate about me." *cheesy grin*

"You want me to make something up?!" he replied, sounding a little confused and looking concerned.

"Could it be that hard?!" I retorted. And we both laughed.  *




In a recent yoga teacher workshop, our teacher mentioned a Harvard study that determined the optimum ratio of appreciation to criticism is 5:1 as a guideline for motivating groups of people and sustaining healthy personal relationships. Five to one! So for every one criticism you dish out, you might want to consider following up with at least five statements of appreciation to balance it out.

Side note: I'll take this time to disclose that the final paragraph of the article I've linked to explains that the results of the study are flawed and bla, bla, bla. I still like the idea behind it, hence my blog post today.

Our teacher talked about appreciation vs. criticism and how that can relate to each of us personally. "How many times a day," he challenged, "do we criticize ourselves? And then we never follow up with what we appreciate about ourselves to balance it out?"

Eh-hm. Guilty.

It seems like every where I look these days there are articles promoting self-love and self-acceptance. And if you haven't noticed them yourself, well, maybe it's just me and I'm being gifted with those articles because it's what I need to pay attention to right now. I decided to be more mindful with my personal appreciation-to-criticism ratio.

On my drive to work yesterday morning I challenged myself to list (and say out loud) five things I appreciate about myself. How hard could that be, right? Just five things?

"I appreciate that I always do my best in whatever I take on."

"I appreciate that I'm a kind and caring yoga teacher."

"I appreciate my smile."

"I appreciate that I freely express appreciation to others."

"I appreciate that I'm an excellent driver."

Phew. It was tough! I typed them out pretty fast here, but it took me a while to come up with those five things. Clearly I need more practice, and that's what I intend to do.

In the meantime, I'll keep expressing my appreciation to others every chance I get! To the Starbucks employee: "Thanks for the cheerful customer service this morning. I appreciate that!" To my yoga student who removed the giant spider from the corner of the classroom the other night: "I appreciate that you did that, James. Thanks so much!" And to Doug: "I appreciate your hard work in the backyard, Honey. It's going to be amazing, thanks to you!"

Your challenge, should you accept it, is to express appreciation to at least three different people today. It just might make their day, and it will enhance yours for the better! And while you're at it, check off at least five things you appreciate about yourself, today and every day.

I sure do appreciate that you visit my blog and read my words.

♥

* Doug said he appreciates that I keep our house organized and that I make it such a nice place for us to call home. Good answer. ♥

Introducing Prayer Mandalas

The color green, for Lynn.

♥

At the end of last year, I donated a 12" x 12" mandala art canvas to The Center for Living Well for their year end fundraiser. I was so touched when the studio's director, Dawn, contacted me to ask if I'd be willing to create a similar piece of art, in the color green, for her friend Lynn.

As I began to create this mandala for Lynn, I wondered about her. Was there anything in particular that she needed at the time? A special thought or prayer I could hold for her as her mandala manifested?

I can only imagine the beautiful soul that Lynn must be to hold such a big space in Dawn's heart. And since I didn't know Lynn personally, I decided to focus on the color green as I created. I just allowed myself to believe that the intentions I held while building this canvas would be absolutely perfect and exactly what Lynn needed at the time

I loved working on this mandala art for Dawn to gift to Lynn. I have a strong attachment to the color green. My May birthstone is emerald, and I associate the color green with nature which feeds my soul like nothing else. Green represents new growth, vitality and wealth/abundance. I also focused on the heart chakra, breathing into that center and visualizing infinite love for Lynn. I prayed that she would feel the depths of her friendship with Dawn when she gazes at her mandala, and that she would find a little peace in it as I do when I am with nature.

Dawn was so happy with the green mandala I created for Lynn, that she ordered another canvas for her friend Ann.

You can see a photo of Ann's canvas with last Friday's quote by clicking here. It's hard to tell by that photo, but there's a lot of teal used as the base color, as Ann is an ovarian cancer survivor. Twice! Those of you who know my mom's history will immediately get that connection for me. So much of my heart and soul and a bit of my mom's spirit went into the mandala for Ann. The difference with the second mandala was that I knew more about Ann and was able to be specific in my prayers for her as I created. I held space for her for continued strength and grace, and I meditated on the three higher chakras as those were the colors I used.

2016 holds a lot of new opportunities for me. One of those opportunities is being able to leave my corporate job and pursue living my dream of teaching yoga. I also have plans to work in hospice care, plus I want to create and share my art. As part of my quest to let my light shine, I have created a listing in my Etsy shop for custom prayer mandalas. You can check it out by clicking here.

I'd be so grateful if you would say a little prayer for me; if you could hold positive thoughts and believe with me that I am heading in the right direction.

A fresh start. Vitality and new growth.

I find it easy being green.

:o)

♥

This Little Light of Mine, in 2016

I'm gonna let it shine.

♥

There's a song we used to sing in Sunday school when we were kids. It's a catchy little tune, and one that has stayed with me through the years and I sing it softly to myself from time to time. It might seem odd, but until recently, I hadn't recognized the depth of its meaning for me.

Last year during a yoga workshop, my teacher mentioned this song and how as humans we tend to keep our light dim. We turn our volume down. We mute ourselves. We don't mean to, really. It's just that allowing our light to shine brightly - allowing ourselves to really be seen and heard - wreaks of vulnerability and let's face it, that can be really scary for some of us.

When we allow our light to shine, we invite vulnerability into the mix. When we make ourselves more visible, we invite others to take a good look and - here's where it gets tricky for me - we become a prime target for others to judge our intentions.

What will people think of me? Am I worthy? What if they don't like me? What if I say the wrong thing? Where's that damn dimmer switch?

Maybe it's my generation - plus many generations of women before me - who were raised with our dimmer switch dialed down just a bit. You know the one? The one that teaches us to "Be seen, not heard," "Don't stand out," "Good girls are humble and sweet and quiet and accommodating," "Good girls don't..."

You get the idea. Dim that light, little sister!

Over the past couple of years as I have moved through yoga teacher training, I have been pushed out of my dim little corner (read: comfort zone!!!) many, many times. Funny that for years I had imagined myself leading yoga classes, but when it came down to actually standing up in front of people and doing just that? Scary!!!

But you see, that's the trade off. Dimming my light no longer serves me because if I keep it undercover, it limits my ability to share the benefits of yoga with others. Keeping yoga all to myself is not an option now. I want to shout from the mountaintops how amazing it is!!!

Whoa.

Hold on there... From a mountaintop?!?! That would make me a giant beacon of light and I'm only just now learning how to light up a room. ~sigh~ See there? I almost accidentally shined super bright and then out of habit, I dimmed by the time I typed the next paragraph!

Shining our light is an ongoing process. It's a process of knowing how to shine brightly without blinding others. It's a process of coming to terms with vulnerability and the fact that we will never have control over what others think. It's a process of leading with our hearts and believing that there is value in what we have to share. It's coming to terms with knowing that others might misunderstand us from time to time - that we are human and will trip at times and feel uncomfortably vulnerable. It's a process of striking a match again and again after the winds of vulnerability snuff out our flame. Shining is an ongoing process.

And so in this new year I have chosen SHINE as my word of focus. I'll let my light shine with the deep understanding that it's what I am meant to do in this lifetime. Keeping the dimmer switch dialed down no longer serves me because...

"As we let our light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence actually liberates others." ~ Marianne Williamson

This little light of mine. I'm gonna shine.

Let it shine.

Let it shine.

Let it shine.

♥

To touch or not to touch? That is the question.

Right after Thanksgiving, I had an opportunity to create a couple of mixed-media mandala canvases. I donated a purple one to The Center for Living Well to be used as a silent auction item, and I created one with shades of red to be used as a gift. But of course, the words that go with the rest of this post have nothing to do with my mandala art. :o)

 

As a student of yoga, I have always appreciated when a yoga teacher offered hands on adjustments for me. It's interesting that when directed to hold our arms straight out to the sides, we do just that and think, "Yeah. My arms are super straight out to the side..." but they might not be! And if they aren't, a yoga teacher might gently touch the arms to adjust the alignment of the pose.

I've always welcomed correction in my poses from teachers I respect, so I was surprised to discover during my yoga teacher training that there are yogis who consider a correction from a yoga teacher to be criticism rather than kindness by way of adjustment. A welcomed hand on my shoulder to remind me to keep them down and back feels like a gift to me, but might feel like criticism to someone with a tender self-esteem.

Some teachers don't touch their students at all, while others may even offer a bit of massage work during the course of the class. While I appreciate a gentle touch to adjust my alignment, I've also experienced forceful adjustments that could have been potentially dangerous. In fact, one teacher was so forceful with me that I never went back to her class after that.

And then there's the part where not everyone likes to be touched. I always ask permission before I touch my students. A simple, "Is it ok for me to touch your shoulder?" is enough to put a student at ease. They know it's coming, and I know it's ok for me to touch them. I also respect when a student tells me flat out at the beginning of class, "I don't like to be touched!" and I honor that request. I'd rather know up front than to have it be uncomfortable for a student during class. There may be very personal reasons for a student who doesn't want to be touched.

 

Advice for yoga students: Know going in that a yoga teacher just might put their hands on you. Know that it's ok to tell them you don't want to be touched! Your time on your yoga mat is for you, not the teacher. It's your call to set boundaries that work for you on your mat.

Advice for yoga teachers: Tread lightly here, and never assume that a new student appreciates a hands-on adjustment. As your teaching practice grows you'll have returning students that you build trust with - so it's not always guess work.

Advice for all others: Yoga is calling you. It's such an amazing practice to answer to.

♥

Standing in front of a group of students, each with different feelings about being touched? Well, it's kind of tricky I suppose, but I don't let it bother me. If I see a student in need of an alignment correction, I'll do what I can to correct it - always from a place of love and compassion for their well being and safety, never because they're "doing it wrong." Many times it's a matter of directing a student with my words, or I might stand next to them and quickly demonstrate with my own body what I'd like to see them do with theirs.

But gosh, there's so much love and sweet power in the gentle touch of a hand...

To touch or not to touch in yoga?

That is the question for many yoga teachers, but I have my own formula:

Ask first, touch second, love always.

♥

When it's time to let go.

A very basic guideline of the ancient practice of feng shui is to surround yourself with things that bring you joy. I've practiced a form of this for years, and have even imparted some of these ideals onto Carrie when she would indulge me.

When Doug and I moved into our new home recently, I used my packing time wisely. What I mean by that is that I purged a whole lot of things that no longer brought me joy. I'll admit that I still clung to a few things that shouda'/coulda'/woulda' been purged but...well...you know how it is. Sometimes you just feel like hanging on for a little longer. You know.

I was unpacking things in my craft space a couple of weeks ago, when I came across a little bottle filled with strips of paper from fortune cookies. On the front of that bottle was a small photograph of me from a time long ago - 20 years or so. I'd had an extra copy made (film days), trimmed around myself and then taped the cut-out to the front of the bottle.

I loved the way this little bottle looked - filled with possibilities for the future printed on strips of paper. It was unique and I always thought the photograph of me, cut out and taped on there, was kind of fun.

But here's the catch. That photo was taken during a not-so-happy time in my life and I knew that every time I saw it. So, when I was arranging things in my new craft room and set it on a shelf, I thought twice. For a split second the thought occurred to me that maybe this would be a good time to let it go...

Psh.

I'll just put this right here for now...

Not even five minutes later, as I tapped a nail into the wall above the new resting place for my wacky photo on the bottle, the hammer slipped from my hand and knocked the bottle off the shelf, shattering it on the floor of my craft room.

Sheesh. I got the message!

It was the simplest of things, letting go of that unique cut-out photo of myself. As I swept it into the dustpan, I allowed myself to be just a little bit sad about that time long ago. And then -bam- gratitude for all those lessons learned quickly made its way to the forefront.

What a mess my life was back then.

I needed to pick up the pieces and move on.

What a mess that broken bottle made on my floor!

I was picking up pieces of glass for a week.

♥

Me and my funk and the power of a smile.

We've been in our new home for five weeks now and we absolutely love it. So much has been done in terms of remodeling, and there's still so much to be done as we continue to live here and make it ours.

 

It's been an exciting time and it's been an exhausting time for both of us.With so much to be happy about - so much to be grateful for - why then, WHY? would either of us feel down-in-the-dumps, discouraged, depressed or out-of-sorts? Why, indeed...

 

Being able to rent our former home for a few months before our actual move gave us more than ample time to pack and prepare. One of the things I took on was to go through my belongings and purge the things that no longer served me. In hindsight, I think my funk started way back then.

 

I sifted through cards and letters from my mom, drawings and sweet notes from little Carrie, a memory of an old flame, and photos from oh-so-long-ago. All those emotional ties connected to things and people, and the letting go of them...phew. Tough stuff right there.

 

Then came the actual move. The going non-stop day after day (and now week after week) took its toll physically. And when one is not well rested, one can usually not handle the emotional side of things as smoothly as one normally would. Sigh.

 

I'd been moping around for weeks and it was really getting old!

 

One day last week I swung by the grocery store on my lunch hour. Before I got out of the car I flipped my visor down to check my look in the mirror and noticed the scowl on my face. "This has got to stop," I thought. "It's just not like me..."

 

I did my shopping and grabbed an iced tea from Starbucks, all the while silently grumbling to myself about the long lines, the toddler throwing a fit over a candy bar, and the oblivious woman taking up the entire damn aisle with her cart. Seriously, lady?!

 

And then something happened that changed everything.

 

As I walked out the exit door, grocery bag in one hand and iced tea in the other, another customer was entering. The woman looked at me - looked me right in the eye - and her face lit up with the most generous smile. A smile that spoke volumes of all-is-right-with-the-world. The sparkle in her eyes combined with her kind expression melted me just a little. My heart burst wide open with gratitude.

It was a brief encounter, and one that touched me so deeply that I was reduced to a few tears on my way out to my car. She had no idea of the gift she'd given to me. No idea that her happy disposition, shared by way of a simple smile to a grumpy scowling me, could rub off on me and shift my perspective. She set me right back onto the path I am meant to be on.

Our recent house move has been wonderful. It's been exhausting. It's been rewarding and challenging and easy and frustrating and awesome. It's been a drastic change wrapped in the most amazing blessings we can imagine. And that's just it - it's been a huge change.

 

If I've learned nothing else in this process, it's this: even when we are enthusiastic, ready and willing, change is still tough. It takes time to feel settled after a move and I may not feel completely that way for a while now but that's ok. 

A stranger smiled at me and changed my perspective in a profound way.

Never underestimate the power of a smile to someone who isn't already wearing one.

♥

Broadening our future by redefining past stories

A few months ago if you had asked me about my childhood, I would have told you my default story. It's been the same story I've always told - how my dad left us several times and my mom was a struggling, emotionally charged single mom. "It was a hard childhood," I would have dramatized. "One with lots of emotional turmoil and uncertainty."

When I came across the prompt to write about my favorite childhood memories of summer a couple months ago, for a split second I defaulted to my sad story. But as I thought about summers back in the small town where I grew up, I was able to quickly list 10 things that had been really wonderful. I realized that there really are good stories to be told about my childhood, and that I had unconsciously covered them up by focusing on the sad times instead.

We all have things in our past that were hurtful, and as humans we tend to hold on to those things as part of who we are. Perhaps we do this as a defense mechanism, rationalizing that by holding on to those events we may be better prepared if it happens again - we remain cautious when we no longer need to be. And sometimes, quite by accident, those things can dominate our story. They become the part of our story that defines who we think we are.

What if we began to re-tell those stories from a different perspective? What if, instead of the terrible thing, we remember something good around it? Might we even find a lesson we learned as a result? Or something good that finally came out of something bad that happened in the first place?

Of course, there are things that have happened that are always going to feel like the worst thing ever. That's life in this current body. But what if the next time you think about that time you do so with a bit of self-compassion and nurturing in the mix?

One of the things I've been working on this past year is forgiving my father for not being the dad I wish he had been. As an adult I realize his actions were selfish and had nothing to do with me. His choices were completely out of my control, and one of the ways I'm working on finding forgiveness for him is by revisiting some of my childhood memories through the eyes of an adult.

One of my earliest memories - and always one of my main stories - happened when I was five years old. I was coloring at our kitchen table when my parents entered the room and were having a heated discussion about my dad leaving. My mom was hysterical and was begging him not to go. My dad "couldn't take it anymore" and it was clear that he was [from my five-year old vantage point] running away from home. I remember being frozen with fear. I didn't move a muscle, afraid that I would be noticed there at the table, with my little hand wrapped tightly around a blue crayon.

I can close my eyes and recreate that entire kitchen scenario in my mind and body - and believe me, I've done just that many times over the course of my life. That single memory has haunted me for years! But now, as an adult, I can put myself in that place and have different thoughts about it. I can tell my five-year old self, "It's ok, Debbie. This is not about you. Mommy is scared right now but she'll be better, and everything really will be ok!" And really, everything has turned out just fine for me in the long run - and ultimately for my mom as well! That was an upsetting moment, but it was over a long time ago.

I have become a compassionate observer of that story, rather than the frightened child still experiencing the event.

As I practice sending nurturing thoughts to that particular piece of my story, I am more free to find forgiveness for the people I'd blamed for the wrong that had been done. I am able to articulate feelings now that I couldn't as a five year old, so I'm able to bring a different perspective to that part of my story. Is it still a sad memory for me? Of course. But it doesn't define my entire childhood anymore. I have a healthier perspective through the eyes of an adult.

The simple act of listing my 10 favorite summertime memories brought about a refreshing realization that I have made progress in my quest for healing and forgiveness. Even though there were hard times, the good times totally outnumbered the bad. I'm personally dedicated to bringing the good memories to the forefront - to have the good things become my main story instead of the ones I used to tell.

I wonder what stories you tell about your past. And I wonder what stories you could heal from a perspective of love and compassion for yourself and maybe those who may have wronged you. Might you be able to change some of your own stories that way?

♥

Where I look for Inspiration

For the past few months I've had a serious plan in my head for the future. Actually, I also have it on paper in the form of written goals and affirmation notes posted here and there. The plan involves some major changes and I believe with all my heart that it's the path for me. It's where I'm going and it's what I'm doing. End {and beginning} of story.

And because I walk this path with human tendencies, there are times when doubt creeps in. I know that doubt is a side-effect of fear, and fear usually rears its ugly head as a way to protect me from growing. If I stay the same I exert no effort, but the side-effect of that is to continue to live a life that is unfulfilling.

Right about the time when I was ready to scrap the whole plan, the reminders that I've surrounded myself with held all the right messages for me. Messages of trusting the divine timing of things, believing in myself and the process, letting go of outcomes and just continuing to do what I'm doing.

So today I'd like to share with you a list of links that I rely on for inspiration. I am continually amazed at how each of these resources gifts me with the perfect message at just the right time.

♥ Danielle LaPorte ~ I receive her daily "Truth Bomb" emails - quick little messages that pack a powerful punch. The one that hit me this morning went like this: "Be devoted to dreaming about your ideal life." Other times her truth bombs are more direct with a "suck it up" message - always what I need at just the right time. I also like her on Facebook and just love her writing style and what she stands for: truth, no nonsense, go for what you desire.

♥ Notes from the Universe ~ Written as if God was sending me a daily email, there's always something that applies to exactly what I need to hear. And God has an entertaining sense of humor too! The notes arrive in my inbox Monday - Friday, and if/when you sign up to receive these notes, be sure to always scroll to the bottom of the message for the last little tag line. They always make me smile! This morning's was, "Deb, your courage and persistence have become as legendary [in Heaven] as your cooking."

♥ Own Your Awesome affirmation card deck by Tricia Huffman, Your Joyologist ~ A beautiful deck of affirmation notes that always resonate with me. The card in my photo up above is from her deck: "What I want wants me." How simple and powerful is that? I love this deck! Visit Tricia's website here, and Facebook page here.

♥ Indigo Angel cards by Doreen Virtue ~ This deck was a gift from Carrie and one that I use from time to time. I hold the cards in my hands, say a prayer and thank Heaven for divine guidance. I ask my angels to reveal a message they think I need and then I draw a card. The cards come with a book, so I open it to the corresponding page for the card I drew and I read the words there. Sometimes I read the message twice. The messages are beautifully written and filled with validation that I am divinely guided and protected. There are times when I really need that reminder.

♥ My Uncle Wes on Facebook ~ No link here, but if you are lucky enough to be in his circle of friends and family then you know what I mean. He's funny. He's kind. He's introspective and inspirational. It's awesome to have someone in my Facebook feed that makes sifting through all the other junk worth logging in!

How about you? Do you receive daily emails filled with inspiration?

Like a page on Facebook that feeds your soul?
Read a blog that lifts your spirit?

I'd love to hear about who/what inspires you.

♥

I am _____. And that's exactly what I am.

If you had 15 seconds to tell someone about yourself, what would your story be?

♥

At a recent yoga workshop we paired off into groups of two and our teacher timed us. The first 15 seconds one of us told our story, and the next 15 seconds the other person told theirs. Then we'd switch and do the same thing all over again with a new partner.

My first partner began telling her story by mentioning her profession. I was impressed when she said she'd been an intensive care nurse for the past 30 years! And she was a mom and the owner of two dogs... I'm a little embarrassed to admit that from that point forward my mind kind of wandered. Instead of giving her my undivided attention, the chatter in my own mind took over. What was I going to say when it was my turn?

 

When it was my turn I followed suit. "I'm an office manager," I began, "and I'm married to a great guy and I have one grown daughter. She's here in the workshop with me..." I added, and pointed proudly in Carrie's direction. I stammered...what next...what next... and then rattled off, "I'm a yoga teacher, a blogger, an artist, a seamstress..." Ding. Time's up. Switch partners and tell your story again.

With the next partner I said almost the exact same thing, but it felt different when I repeated it that time. I became keenly aware of how I was labeling myself, so by the time I made it to my third partner I dropped the office manager gig and went straight to, "I'm a yoga teacher and an artist. I've been married to an awesome guy for 10 years and my daughter is here in the workshop with me. I'm a blogger and photographer and I love to sew and make quilts, I love to bake..."

 

The point of this exercise was to become aware of the stories we tell about ourselves, but there was more to learn and lots more to think about once we'd made our way back to our own yoga mats. We were asked to consider what our inside story is. How did we complete the sentence, "I am ____" inside our own minds?

The words "I am" are such powerful words - they define who we believe we are, deep in our heart and soul. I thought about how I finish that sentence in my own mind about myself. Those statements are much different from the ones I tell the outside world about myself - beyond how I earn a living and what hobbies I love.

Here are some of my typical inner I am statements: "I am nervous and can't find the right words so I'll surely stutter." "I am not worthy - I could never be successful with that..." "I am afraid you won't like me." "I don't deserve to follow that dream." "I am fat." "I fall out of yoga poses and therefore I am weak." "I am SOOOOO busy." "I look old...ugh! These wrinkles..." But when I take a step back, really think about those things and take a close look at each of them...none of them really define who I am. In fact, none of those things are true at all. So why do I repeat them and own them with a deep sense of feeling and attachment? Why, indeed.

I realize that those negative beliefs about myself have been so stifling. Once I became aware of them, I was shocked to learn how many different stories I tell myself about me. Quite frankly, it was a bit overwhelming. Recognizing those thought patterns is the first step to being able to change them. Changing those thought patterns is the first step to being able to move forward on some things that I've been holding back on. It was overwhelming, but very liberating as well.

When we understand that thoughts that are connected to feelings become who we are, we can begin to work on changing those thoughts. We become more mindful about the stories we tell ourselves over and over, day after day, like a broken record.

What if we started paying attention to the little lies we tell ourselves? Just start to notice them. And what if we turned those unkind and untrue "I am" statements into more positive ones? Then we can begin to write new and more accurate stories about ourselves - ones that move us forward instead of holding us back. Stories that allow our light to shine like it was meant to do. True stories that help us to grow ourselves and in turn, inspire others. I am worthy. I am kind. I am generous. I deserve this. I deserve that...

I'm a blogger and a writer and a mandala lover.

I am joyous. I am peaceful. I am love.

I am working on believing in me.

♥

"You are the way you are because you tell yourself you are that way."

~ Don Juan to Carlos Castaneda

This Week in my Garden

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My garden mirrors my life in many ways. These days find me in the process of making some changes. Getting ready to make a shift, shed some old skin, and focus on some new growth.

My little blogging break at the beginning of this month was a way for me to step back and think about this blog. Sometimes I get caught up in wondering why I spend so much time on blogging - what's it all for? And I question what I share here and if it's enough or too much.

 

Among the happy, uplifting posts about how awesome my life is and how grateful I am, there are muddled thoughts and some blue days. And I wonder if that makes me less authentic here on this blog space. At times I'll share a story that exposes my vulnerability and stretches my personal limits and I wonder if that's such a good idea. {Ooh...watch this awesome, awesome video...}

And then I step back, take a little blog break and dust myself off. I allow myself to embrace my human nature and I am reminded that every day is a new day. Every day is a new chance to do the best I can, and to find something, anything, to be grateful for. Every day is a chance for new direction and growth. And I realize that that's what this blog is for - a chance to encourage myself and my readers to keep smiling. To keep on keeping on!

 

My future holds some exciting things! Yoga is making a big presence in my life and I am loving my reconnection there. In the upcoming months I may be blogging less, so for those of you sweeties who look for me every day, you needn't worry if on a random Tuesday {or any given} morning you don't see a blog post from me. 

I'll just be over here, in my little corner of blogland,

tending to my garden and trusting the process.

♥

This Week in my Garden ~ Be the first to say hello.

“Cultivate a good life – be the first to say hello.”

Becky Higgins shared that phrase on Facebook a couple of weeks ago
and I just loved it! I’ve been thinking about it ever since...
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For the most part, I’m usually the first to say hello. Yes, I’m the person you should not make eye contact with if you are walking down the street in a totally bad mood and don’t want to be bothered!

But I’m also human, and I have off days like everyone else. On those days I am touched when a random stranger gives me a smile or says hello. I see it as a sweet little gift from the universe – an acknowledgment of my existence and a reminder that I matter.

I am truly blessed and very grateful to say that I am never lonely. I have people in my life to remind me that I matter every single day. Unfortunately for many people on this planet, that's not always the case.

What if the grumpy old guy you just walked past is one of those people? And what if you had taken a second of your day to smile and say hello to him instead of hurrying on past? That may have been the only acknowledgement of his existence that he’s had all week.

I hope the next time you have an opportunity to make eye contact with someone you will give them a smile and be the first to say hello. And I really hope the next time you’re having a rough day, someone will do the same for you!

And here's a little add-on: ♥ The late, great Maya Angelou once said, "If you have only one smile in you, give it to the people you love. Don't be surly at home, then go out in the street and start grinning 'good morning' at total strangers."

Something else to think about...