My Awesome Shoulder

If you know me {personally or through my blog} you know that I regularly look for blessings among the junk. It's not always easy, and it certainly doesn't come naturally {I'm human, remember?} but it's a habit that I have consciously created in my thinking routine. Yes, it is forced most times - as in I make myself think about a situation in a different light.

{butterfly by Alison}

Well, this little shoulder of mine has been a source of worry and pain and negative thoughts in my head for about two years now and it's time to change that!

In May of 2010 I started having upper arm pain. Ugh! Like a knife sticking in my bicep muscle. I stretched, I rubbed, I got massages, chiropractic adjustments, and acupuncture. Then, in August I broke down and went to my doctor who in turn sent me to an orthopedic surgeon. Fast forward - an MRI showed a tear in my rotator cuff and the surgeon recommended surgery. I resisted! Thought I could rehab it, thought the problem would correct itself. I was wrong.

So! This past December I finally had the surgery to repair the tear. I started physical therapy three weeks later, had some complications with inflammation, took a three week break from PT, and then I was involved in an auto accident three weeks after that which caused even more shoulder issues.

I had another MRI a couple of weeks ago that showed all kinds of stuff, including another small perforation, and a condition known as frozen shoulder {adhesive capsulitis} - all a result of the auto accident. Oh.My.Goodness. When I got those results I was devastated. I spent the weekend moping around and imagining all sorts of scenarios of another surgery and potential time off from my new job and horrifying thoughts of enduring that pain again.
.

And then, I changed my mind.

You see, for the past couple of years every time I've referenced my shoulder I've said, "my stupid shoulder." And when I've thought about my shoulder {as I'm often painfully reminded} I was angry and upset. If I pictured a color around my shoulder {I know, it's kind of 'out there'} it was always red.

Now, please don't pity me or worry about me. Instead, it would be awesome if you'd play along...

The color around my shoulder is bright yellow.

Happy, healing, angelic yellow.

Gold even. It's golden.

Good things are happening and my body is busy healing my awesome shoulder.

When pain wakes me up at night, instead of feeling distressed and sorry for myself,
I'm thinking, "Oh sweet shoulder, it will be ok..."

And I know it will.
My shoulder is awesome that way.
♥