To know my grandpa

{Grandpa and me}

♥

Last week I told you a story about my grandpa and how he always gave us candy and a quarter at the end of every visit. I painted him in a dark way - telling that he was mostly grumpy but was happy when handing out candy. When I hit the "Publish Post" button and sent it out into the world wide web I felt a twinge of guilt for portraying him in that way.

I sat down at the beginning of the week and started writing a list of things about my grandfather. I wanted to tell a different story about him that would portray him in a kinder manner. I came up with quite a list of things about him, and then I emailed that list off to my mom for clarification and filling-in-the-blanks here and there. When I received her reply I was surprised at my reaction. I cried when I read about his hardships growing up, and I was overcome with a sense of empathy and love for my grandpa - this man who loved his grandchildren so much but was at a loss to know how to show it at times.

I tried to incorporate what my mom had written about her father into my list of things I knew about him. I couldn't make it work. Call it writer's block - or maybe it was because I was at a loss for how to say it better than my mom had.

So, instead of the long list of random facts about my grandfather, I'm pasting my mom's paragraph here for you to read for yourself. {Thanks, Mom, I hope you don't mind!}

"His name was actually spelled "Johnie" - looks like whoever filled out the birth record couldn't read or write either. Grandpa was one of 6 so when the oldest 2 left [after the death of his mother], he was left at home with 3 others. I think he was around 10 or 11 when he got polio and spent several years in and out of the hospital in Oklahoma City - part of that time in an iron lung, an old method of treating the disease. After 21 surgeries on his foot and a steel plate in his ankle, he still walked with a limp his whole life. He left Oklahoma when he was about 30.

The most remarkable thing about his talents, besides being able to figure "sums" with the best of them, was the fact that he was an ace mechanic. He could repair and rebuild any engine - whether it was a car or farm equipment. And Grandpa's excuse for never reading in front of anyone? "I don't have my glasses." He was a hard man, the result of a very hard life, but he loved his grandkids way more than his own kids. You don't need to tell that - this is for your benefit only!"

I left that last sentence in because I loved it, and when I look at old photos I can see it. I'm sure he didn't love his grandchildren more than his own kids, but possibly was at an age where he could appreciate the love for a child in a different way.

I'm so grateful that I asked my mom to tell me the story of my grandpa.

Who do you know that would be different in your eyes if you knew their real story?

♥

{I'm linking to Sian's Storytelling Sunday today.}

Grandpa and Candy

Carrie and I recently attended a writing workshop {lead by this lovely lady and this one} and it was held at a sweet candy store called Smeeks in downtown Phoenix {you should go there because it is awesome!!!}. There were 10 of us seated around a square table that had been scattered with candy - the perfect setting for some sweet creative flow.

To get things going, our facilitators asked us to quickly jot down five candy-related memories. It didn't take me long to do so, and I was surprised at the memories and emotions that simple exercise conjured up.

Next, we were told to choose one of those memories and write a story about it. We were given 10 minutes, and here's what I came up with:

{my grandfather's coffee cup ~ a treasured possession}

"My memories of my grandfather aren't all that pleasant. He rarely spoke to us when we came to visit, and when he did speak it was usually a gruff command. My mom would make excuses for her father, saying he didn't feel well or that his back hurt. As a child I never really understood why that would cause him to be so grumpy all the time. I figured he was the luckiest man in the world to live with my sweet grandmother, and that alone should make him happy.

During our visits we basically steered clear of Grandpa. Occasionally I'd muster up the courage to offer to refill his coffee cup and he'd always take me up on that.

At the end of every visit at my grandparent's house, we began our good-bye ritual. My siblings and I approached Grandpa, one at a time, exchanging a good-bye hug for a quarter and a roll of Lifesavers. Every. Time.

He was always smiling then, maybe because we were leaving, but I like to think it was because giving us candy brought him joy."

♥

Can you think of five candy-related memories?

Which one would you share if asked to write a story

and read it out loud to a group of candy-eating women?