Wednesday, October 9, 2013

This Past Year


Well, friends, here we are on the one-year anniversary of my mother's death. I'm not going to publish a long and emotional blog post about the sadness of losing my mom. I'm not going to tell you how wonderful she was and how very much she is missed. I'm pretty sure that you've gathered all of that from my Team Teal Tuesday posts over this past year.

A personal blog affords its owner with a space to share stories, and I've certainly done my share of that. In the beginning, before my mom was diagnosed with ovarian cancer, she loved this blog of mine. I know that my daily posts helped her to feel more connected while we lived in different states. I love that she got to know my blog friends through comments, and sometimes I'd send her a link to a friend's blog if I thought she'd be particularly interested in the subject matter of their recent post. She tried her best to figure out how to leave comments when she did visit.

After my mom was diagnosed with cancer and she began her battle, my blog posts took a turn and I started sharing more personal information here. I was leery at first, but the love and support that flowed into our lives was an unexpected blessing.

In February 2012, my mom wrote a letter to Team Teal and I published it here on my blog. I used a photo I had taken of her without her wig. Her hair had started growing back and she wasn't as self-conscious, plus I was there visiting for the weekend and that always made her happy. You can see it in her eyes.

In her letter to Team Teal, Mom said, "I also want you all to know how I appreciate all you do for Deb. Your encouraging comments on her blog along with e-mails and happy mail help keep her spirits high which helps her be even more of an encouragement to me. IF things should “go south” I know you’ll all be there to help her through."

I choke up every time I read her words. I'm emotional and grateful that she was right. In my wildest dreams I can't imagine how I might have coped with the loss of my awesome mom had it not been for the love and support of Team Teal - blog friends, local friends, and family members who formed a loving circle and lifted me when I was down.

And so that's it. A year has passed and my mom is gone but will never be forgotten. My heart is still healing, but it's time to focus on being grateful for the mom I had, and look forward to being the best mom I can be for my own daughter.

Thank you, dear friends and readers, for allowing me to use this space for writing my feelings about my mom and her departure. It's meant the world to me, and I will never, ever forget your kindness and support.

24 comments:

Beverly said...

Deb, I believe one of Marti's greatest legacies is the loving, creative and kind woman that she raised...you. It is an honor to be considered a friend.

Ruth said...

I think Beverly has it exactly. You are your mother and that is a wonderful and precious thing.
On a daily basis, I am grateful for having had the luck to meet you and yours.
Much love. xxx

Susan said...

God bless you today and every day, my friend!

Susi said...

Keeping you in my thoughts today. ((hugs))

Jo said...

I will be thinking of you and your mum today xx

Sian said...

Keep on writing Deb..

Marti will most certainly be remembered by so many admirers across the world. Our family is thinking about your family today xx

Kristi Jean said...

Deb, I'm sending my love to you today and everyday! Your strength is incredible. Your mom was a wonderful woman and has a wonderful daughter. You shine light and love everywhere! Lots of love to you.

Maria Ontiveros said...

Deb,
I teared up as I re-read her letter. Such a lovely, gracious, inspiring woman she was and you are.
Lots and lots of hugs to you,
Rinda

Stephanie @ La Dolce Vita said...

Deb, it's hard to believe it's been a year, isn't it? And yet, you feel it every day. Your mom lives on in your heart, and in every thing you do that she taught you. Sending you love and prayers and an extra hug today. xoxoxo

debs14 said...

Beverley has put everything perfectly. You are a credit to her and you set a great example to Carrie to carry on the legacy.
How can a year have passed so quickly? You are often in my thoughts but I am thinking of you and your family especially today x x x

scrappyjacky said...

I totally agree with Beverly.Thinking of you with love today.

Becky said...

Deb, my eyes filled with tears as I retread Marti's letter. You are a true credit to your wonderful Mom. Hugs to you and your family today xx

Alison said...

Beverly has said it all...thoughts and prayers with you all today
Alison xx

Audrey said...

Oh Deb. What a gift it is to have your Mom's words. I read them and get chill bumps. I read your words and get teary. I am thinking of you today and wish (SO MUCH) that I could just reach out and give you a warm hug! Lots of love....

Deb@threeisacharm said...

Thinking of you, today, Deb.

Sinead said...

I feel honoured to read about your Mom, Deb, she sounds like a really wonderful person. Thinking of you and sending hugs your way today xxx

Robyn said...

Thinking of you, Deb. :)

Karen said...

Although I never had the pleasure of meeting her (or you, for that matter!) I feel like I knew her through your loving posts. It was an honor to be a part of Team Teal, and my heart is with you today!

Candace said...

My thoughts are with you...

Margaret said...

So beautiful. You inspire me.

Amy said...

Oh Beverly has said exactly what I was thinking!

Quite frankly, I feel inadequate in regards to the support I feel I can offer you as a friend over such a great distance - please know that you are close in my thoughts.

Irene said...

You are an inspiration. Sending love your way.

Melissa said...

It's so hard to believe it's been a year. What a lovely post today!

Lisa-Jane said...

What can I say, except that I'm glad you both found blogging to be a comfort in both what you shared and the support you received. I think that the first year after a bereavement is a series of occasions to be almost gotten under your belt so that you are thinking of "the first of this or that". This anniversary was of course, the big one. But you did it and she was right there with you, I just know it xx

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