This Past Year

Well, friends, here we are on the one-year anniversary of my mother's death. I'm not going to publish a long and emotional blog post about the sadness of losing my mom. I'm not going to tell you how wonderful she was and how very much she is missed. I'm pretty sure that you've gathered all of that from my Team Teal Tuesday posts over this past year.

A personal blog affords its owner with a space to share stories, and I've certainly done my share of that. In the beginning, before my mom was diagnosed with ovarian cancer, she loved this blog of mine. I know that my daily posts helped her to feel more connected while we lived in different states. I love that she got to know my blog friends through comments, and sometimes I'd send her a link to a friend's blog if I thought she'd be particularly interested in the subject matter of their recent post. She tried her best to figure out how to leave comments when she did visit.

After my mom was diagnosed with cancer and she began her battle, my blog posts took a turn and I started sharing more personal information here. I was leery at first, but the love and support that flowed into our lives was an unexpected blessing.

In February 2012, my mom wrote a letter to Team Teal and I published it here on my blog. I used a photo I had taken of her without her wig. Her hair had started growing back and she wasn't as self-conscious, plus I was there visiting for the weekend and that always made her happy. You can see it in her eyes.

In her letter to Team Teal, Mom said, "I also want you all to know how I appreciate all you do for Deb. Your encouraging comments on her blog along with e-mails and happy mail help keep her spirits high which helps her be even more of an encouragement to me. IF things should “go south” I know you’ll all be there to help her through."

I choke up every time I read her words. I'm emotional and grateful that she was right. In my wildest dreams I can't imagine how I might have coped with the loss of my awesome mom had it not been for the love and support of Team Teal - blog friends, local friends, and family members who formed a loving circle and lifted me when I was down.

And so that's it. A year has passed and my mom is gone but will never be forgotten. My heart is still healing, but it's time to focus on being grateful for the mom I had, and look forward to being the best mom I can be for my own daughter.

Thank you, dear friends and readers, for allowing me to use this space for writing my feelings about my mom and her departure. It's meant the world to me, and I will never, ever forget your kindness and support.

♥