Team Teal Tuesday ~ The Walk

There aren't many mornings that I sit here and wonder what to write, but this morning the words just aren't flowing. I've wanted the Tuesday's leading up to my mom's farewell anniversary to be a bit entertaining, while at the same time honoring her in a way that would make her proud. Ah, life...and if this is my biggest challenge today, I am fortunate beyond words.

♥

This past Sunday, Carrie and I participated in the annual National Ovarian Cancer Run/Walk to Break the Silence of ovarian cancer. Last year we walked in honor of my mom, this year we walked in her memory.

 

 

Last year as we walked this path, my mom was in the final stages of her battle with ovarian cancer. I remember there being lots of tears on that walk, lots of hand holding and anticipation about what was to come. Last year I was in the depths of dealing with losing my mom, and Carrie was losing her grandma.

 

This year I boasted that I wasn't emotional - there would be no tears like last year. But this year, as we approach the anniversary of my mom's passing, things seem disjointed. I don't know how else to describe it. It's not every day that your mind is tasked with processing the one-year anniversary of losing someone so dear to you. I suppose that's my excuse for feeling a bit out of sorts lately.

Anyway! On the morning of the walk, Carrie arrived at my house a little late, and that was ok because I felt like I was moving in slow motion myself. Carrie had received some sad news about a friend of a friend, and after hearing her tale I had the good cry that I had boasted about not having the night before.

 

When we arrived at the park we thought it was odd that there was no one else around. We wondered if we'd mistakenly shown up on the wrong day - we weren't that late. As it turned out, the start/finish line had been moved to a new location this year, and in order to get to it {from where we had parked} we had to walk on the designated path that the rest of the participants would eventually be walking on. Essentially, we walked the second half of the course before anyone else. And by the time we got to the starting point, the sign had already been changed to read "finish" (see top photo) and we were 11 minutes behind.

 

 

I'd like to say that we were in good spirits and made the most of it, but the truth is that we were both in a bit of a funk that morning. And lately Carrie has been on a kick of not wanting her photo taken. {Mom's, do you hate that as much as me?} Last year we had a bunch of usable photos after the race, this year I have nothing. {Except a shot that's good of me, but Carrie has her tongue stuck all the way out. Really?!?! I'm going to use it in my Project Life, but will do her a favor and not post it on my blog. You're welcome, Carrie.} Anyway, I thought we were long past the "fake smile" stage in photography, but apparently it still shows up from time to time...

 

You can see some people walking on the other side of the lake in the photo below, and we eventually did catch up to them. And by the time we made it around the course to our starting point, there was our car so we made the decision to hop in it and head for home. We had technically walked the entire course, but I felt bad for not participating in the "people" part of the walk - the opening ceremony and officially crossing the finish line.

Even though this year's walk wasn't the same as last year's, we still made an effort and we still took time that morning to honor my mom. We did walk hand in hand, and we talked about how much we miss her, and some of the crazy {and kind of funny} things that happened around the time of her passing. Sometimes it takes writing a blog post to put things in perspective.

Would my mom be pleased that we went
to the park and {kind of} participated?

Yes.

 

Would she be disappointed that
we didn't fully participate?

Probably not.

 

Would she have walked the entire course five times
in a row had she been with us on Sunday?

Without a doubt, yes.

♥
Thanks for understanding, Mom. There's always next year...