Thursday, December 6, 2012

You Can't See the Angels ~ Art Canvas

Oh, friends, I'm having a tough time.
I miss my mom so much, and it's Christmas time!

I've been doing well, I think. My mom is on my mind a lot, but for the most part I'm going about my business and keeping busy with work and personal stuff. But when I put one of my mom's Christmas pins on my sweater yesterday, sadness hit me like a ton of bricks. I reached for the pin to remove it from my sweater, and that made me even more sad, so I wore it all day and carried my little gray cloud with me as I went.


When I saw this poem on Kathryn's blog "Life Today" I loved it immediately. It spoke to me in a way that was deep and meaningful, and I knew I wanted to use it for an art canvas! {I also used this in a mini-book I made for my mom earlier this year.} Thanks for the inspiration, Kathryn!


My niece Presley is 7 {almost 8} and this year for Christmas I wanted to give her a gift that was a bit more personal, a little more grown up, and something that she could keep always. Losing my mom in October was difficult for all of us, and it has been particularly sad for Mom's grandchildren. I hope this little poem speaks to Presley's heart the way it spoke to mine.
My mom's love is everywhere,
I just really miss it being HERE.

21 comments:

Robyn said...

Deb, OF COURSE you miss your mom. OF COURSE you do! Especially right now! I think you should just let yourself miss her. I find that when I try to push away what I'm really feeling, it just gets worse…but if I let myself just sit and feel it…it feels SO MUCH BETTER.

I'm so sorry that this time is so hard for you, Deb. You are on my heart. I love all the ways you have found to honor your mom and honor your grief in the last few weeks. I was thinking about the aprons you all wore at Thanksgiving the other day and I thought "I wonder how Deb will remember her mom at Christmas." :)

Take care of yourself, girl. This is no easy business. :)

traci said...

Oh deb. this is so precious. i am sure your niece will treasure it. hugs to you my friend. i cannot even imagine what you are going through.

Sian said...

i think what Robyn has said is very wise. Be gentle on yourself x

Auntie Bliss said...

Christmas is pretty famous for bringing on the grief! I'm 13 years from losing my daddy and BLAH!
It seems all the magic rotated around him...which was wrong for me to feel that way and I'm feeling guilty about that.
WEll, I didn't help you any, did I?
Eyes on the Savior :) He isn't going anywhere!

Becky said...

What a wonderful gift for Presley. I'm so sorry that this is such a hard time for you, but I am sure your Mom is looking after you still. With hugs xx

scrappyjacky said...

I do agree with Robyn as well...sometimes you just need to grieve.
I love what you've made....Presley will love it....and so will your mom.

Marti said...

It seems that holidays are so hard without our loved ones. I remember that I would always treasure the gift that my mom would send me for Christmas, and open it last. I still miss her, but I am glad that she is now free from suffering and pain, and I try and celebrate the wonderful things about her--I know that is what she would want. I will say a prayer for you that you will have peace.

Cheri said...

Ditto what Robyn said! Let yourself feel whatever you need to feel. Have to say though that you did a marvelous job of turning that sadness into a beautiful little canvas and I'm sure that was therapeutic in itself. I'm sure Presley will love it!

helena said...

I'm echoing what Robyn said too - be kind to yourself and allow your grief
your art piece is beautiful and your niece very lucky to have such a thoughtful and creative aunt

Rhona said...

Oh Deb, I can only imagine what you must be going through. Unfortunately, all the "firsts" are going to be difficult. Take each day as it comes and when the grief hits just go with it and let it come out. The little canvas is beautiful and I'm sure Presley will love it. xx

Irene said...

Deb you have some wise blog friends. I will keep you in my prayers.

debs14 said...

Christmas is always a tough time when someone from your family is missing. We always keep a couple of candles burning in memory of my mum and dad. This first one without her will be the worst, but make sure you continue her traditions and keep your family close like she would want you to. She wouldn't want her passing to cause you to not enjoy yourself so when you feel a little down, go with the flow, somewhere, somehow you will find a sign that she is still with you in spirit.

Karen said...

It's been over 40 years, but I remember well how difficult the first holidays were without my mother. You've gotten good advice here. Let yourself feel the sadness. What you've done with it today is truly beautiful. A gorgeous canvas that I'm sure Presley will treasure for many, many years!

Karen said...

You shouldn't apologise for how you feel - it is only natural that you miss your mum. I hope that the pain diminishes but the memories stay strong. Take care x

Margaret said...

Of course you miss your mom, and it is especially appropriate that you miss her at Christmas when we think so much about family. I'm sorrynyounare going through this hard time. I do love your art.

Alexandria said...

Hi Deb,
I am sorry to hear that you are having a tough time right now. Your mom would want you to put a smile on your face and enjoy the holidays. She would not want to see you or any of the family so sad. I hope you and the rest of the family have a wonderful Christmas. I will tell you one thing though, before she passed, your mom told me that she did not want to ruin any of your occassions due to her passing. She wanted you guys to enjoy the time you have. I love you all!!!!

Your Angel,
Alex

Denise said...

It's a tough time - I love the sentiment on the canvas Deb.Take care of you my friend x x

Amy said...

I find it hard to say what I want to - Robyn and her beautiful way with words sums it up nicely.

Take care :)

Gail said...

Oh Deb I'm so sorry, I remember what it was like that first year after my Mum passed 36 years ago. Robyn has said it perfectly.
Hugs,

Maria Ontiveros said...

Hugs to you dear friend. What a lovely canvas and sentiment. I know you will see your mom in your family and that will be both happy and sad at the same time. Let yourself feel what you feel. And try to do some yoga.
Love you,
rinda

Stephanie @ La Dolce Vita said...

oh Deb, this is so beautiful! I think she will treasure it always. This first Christmas will be the hardest. And as much as it hurts, it is also a reminder that her love is always with you, and how much you loved her back. There is nothing more precious in this world than love. Thinking of you...

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