Wednesday, October 17, 2012

A Touch of Teal

You know how I said I wouldn't be blogging for a while? Well, it was mostly because I didn't want to upload the photos from my camera. You see, there were photos on my camera that I knew would be super sad to look at - photos of my mom a few days before she left that I knew would break my heart.


I thought I'd wait about uploading them until I wasn't feeling so sad, but I'm not sure when that will be. And I struggled with that because I knew the longer I waited, the harder it would be. Plus, I needed to get it over with so I could get that off my mind.


I sat down on Monday night and got it over with. And you know what? It wasn't so bad. There was a photo of my mom and sister - one that my mom insisted that I take. Mom looks very ill in the photo, but she is smiling a sweet, happy smile. It took me back to the afternoon that my sister and I spent with our mom, when she was still feeling well enough to have a conversation. Yes, Mom was sick, but she was genuinely happy to be chatting with her daughters, and her expression makes that very clear.


I didn't take many photos while I was in California last week. I typically come back from a weekend with my family and have at least 200 photos. This recent visit spanned the course of 10 days, and I only had 56 photos. And what I expected to be a really sad review from our trip, turned out to be a very uplifting photo collection of faces of the people I love so much. It totally lifted my spirits!


So, about this break from blogging; I'm not sure how that looks right now. I'm realizing that blogging feeds my soul and maybe, just maybe, it's just what this heartache needs. Plus, I need to make something crafty and I think that will be a really nice break for all of us!

26 comments:

humel said...

Do what you need to, Deb. Do what feels right. We're all here for you, whether you're posting or not. Thinking of you, praying for you, loving you xx

helena said...

I agree with Mel. I often find the process of making things to be very comforting

Ruth said...

Mel has summed it up perfectly. xx

Charlotte Huffman said...

Take your time. We will be waiting for you. Sorry to hear about your mom.

Karen said...

I don't think any of us know, at times like these, what will feed the soul. But you will find those things, and whatever they are, I hope they bring a sense of comfort to you.

Cheri said...

These are some beautiful photos Deb! Those chubby little kid fingers with teal polish chipping off are priceless! And I agree with Mel - do whatever feels best for you - allow yourself to feel your feelings and whatever brings you comfort is exactly the right thing to do.

debs14 said...

There is no right, and there is no wrong. You do what is right for you. Personally, I think you were totally right to upload those photos because the longer you left it, the harder it would be to do.
There will be days when you find it therapeutic to blog about your feelings and days when you need privacy. I think you will find comfort in your crafting and look forward to seeing what you have to share with us. I'm loving the idea of the Teal Quilt that Jo is organising!

scrappyjacky said...

Just do what feels right to you day to day,Deb....some days you'll want to blog,some you won't...we'll always be here for you whatever you chose.
And I,too,think that crafting can be a great comfort.

Becky said...

As those before me have said, you do what is right for you, taking each day as it comes. We are here for you and will understand the days when you don't want to blog and be happy to read your blog when you feel up to blogging. And doing something crafty can be a great comfort too. xx

Denise said...

Blogging really helped me - it seemed to keep things more 'normal' and I did exactly what you have done - loaded and looked at photos that were painful- as everyone else says- there is no right or wrong -do whatever.One day it's good,one day it's bad!We are all here for you. x x

Irene said...

Deb, I am so sorry to hear of your mom's passing. In your blog you post about the photos of the faces you love so much. Those same faces are the people who love your mom and you. The photos are a reminder of all the love your mom brought out in each one of you. My thoughts and prayers are with you in this time of sorrow. Time heals all sorrows, take as long as you need my dear friend.

Sian said...

All those little things, eh? and ther's another one you have bravely faced :)

I think everyone is happy to listen to whatever is on your mind and in your hear, and if it helps you to write it down - it might just help someone to read too x

Alison said...

There's not much I can add Deb, except to agree that there's no right or wrong way to grieve..you do what you think's right at the time ......love, hugs and prayers as always
Alison xx

Lisa-Jane said...

When you know what's coming, you think you will handle it in a certain way and then when the time does come, sometimes we need to do the exact opposite of what we thought. Some days we feel we need to this and some days its that. Do whatever is right for you whenever it is right for you. We will all be here and thinking of you in the mean time.

Ginger said...

those are wonderful pictures Deb, I love that first one :) I have nothing more to add, except that I agree with what everyone has said, you are the only one who knows what feels right for you. :) Take care.

Ginger said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
furrypig said...

a touch of teal will always touch my heart! Hope you manage to do whatever helps, I can't even blog about my Dad now but I think that maybe I should as he has started more chemo today and maybe my journey with him will help someone else as you have been the most helpful person to me because of going through the same thing xxx

Karen said...

Just take it one day at a time. We all understand and will be here.

Irene said...

When my mum died, someone said to me 'Your mum wouldn't want you to be so sad', and although I often was, remembering that and her could bring a smile to my face. Find comfort in those small things that make you smile and know that however you spend your time, will be just right for you.

Lizzie said...

Darling Deb! Your blog is there for whatever you need it for - and we are happy to read posts and support you, if that is what you need. (and of course you can write posts and leave them in Draft, or just make them invisible, just to get something out of your head and onto the screen, even if you want it to remain private).

So pleased that you found reviewing your photos uplifting and encouraging.

Sadness is such a normal and natural part of life; we fear and dread it, yet it does serve a purpose.
So long as you don't become so mired in your sadness, that you forget to leave room for the good moments, the happiness, the occasional flashes of joy - they are necessary too and you need not feel guilty for embracing those that come to you, just as Marti was not afraid to enjoy moments with her family, even while she was so ill.
Thinking of you! XX

Amy said...

I think Karen's words are so true - take your time and do what you feel is what you need and want to do.

Margaret said...

Whatever you need, we are here for you.

Maria Ontiveros said...

Deb,
I am so proud of you. You were there for your mother when she needed you, and you have survived her passing. I hope you find comfort and healing as you mourn her passing.
Love and hugs to you,
Rinda

Jimjams said...

Virtual hugs, positive thoughts and much ♥

alexa said...

Very touched to read your post, and so glad that the thing your feared turned out - once you'd started - to bring you good things and happy memories. Continuing to think of you ...

Beverly said...

I always smile when I see you have posted because I feel like you have dropped by my house to spend time with me. I wish I could drop by yours and give you a hug. Whenever you post I'll be here but when you are not posting I am here as well. I think creating will both soothe your heart and bring you joy. I love the pic of Carrie and the cousins taking a pic :)

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...