Thursday, April 19, 2012

My Awesome Shoulder

If you know me {personally or through my blog} you know that I regularly look for blessings among the junk. It's not always easy, and it certainly doesn't come naturally {I'm human, remember?} but it's a habit that I have consciously created in my thinking routine. Yes, it is forced most times - as in I make myself think about a situation in a different light.

{butterfly by Alison}

Well, this little shoulder of mine has been a source of worry and pain and negative thoughts in my head for about two years now and it's time to change that!

In May of 2010 I started having upper arm pain. Ugh! Like a knife sticking in my bicep muscle. I stretched, I rubbed, I got massages, chiropractic adjustments, and acupuncture. Then, in August I broke down and went to my doctor who in turn sent me to an orthopedic surgeon. Fast forward - an MRI showed a tear in my rotator cuff and the surgeon recommended surgery. I resisted! Thought I could rehab it, thought the problem would correct itself. I was wrong.

So! This past December I finally had the surgery to repair the tear. I started physical therapy three weeks later, had some complications with inflammation, took a three week break from PT, and then I was involved in an auto accident three weeks after that which caused even more shoulder issues.

I had another MRI a couple of weeks ago that showed all kinds of stuff, including another small perforation, and a condition known as frozen shoulder {adhesive capsulitis} - all a result of the auto accident. Oh.My.Goodness. When I got those results I was devastated. I spent the weekend moping around and imagining all sorts of scenarios of another surgery and potential time off from my new job and horrifying thoughts of enduring that pain again.
.
And then, I changed my mind.

You see, for the past couple of years every time I've referenced my shoulder I've said, "my stupid shoulder." And when I've thought about my shoulder {as I'm often painfully reminded} I was angry and upset. If I pictured a color around my shoulder {I know, it's kind of 'out there'} it was always red.

Now, please don't pity me or worry about me. Instead, it would be awesome if you'd play along...

The color around my shoulder is bright yellow.
Happy, healing, angelic yellow.
Gold even. It's golden.
Good things are happening and my body is busy healing my awesome shoulder.
When pain wakes me up at night, instead of feeling distressed and sorry for myself,
I'm thinking, "Oh sweet shoulder, it will be ok..."
And I know it will.
My shoulder is awesome that way.

19 comments:

Maria Ontiveros said...

What a wonderful lesson . . . I know I could use a bit of that spirit in my life.
And what a glorious photo!
Rinda

Cheri said...

Love the photo and your attitude! My sister had frozen shoulder and said acupuncture worked to heal that.

Mom said...

I am seriously crying right now. You have such an incredible relationship with your body and I'm so moved by the way you are "bonding" with your shoulder. I pray that all your positive responses and reactions to your awesome shoulder brings you all the relief and peace you need to get through this healing time. So well written, my darling daughter! Love you! xo
PS: Picture is amazing!

Rhona said...

I think we could all learn from this post Deb, thanks for sharing it. Look after that awesome shoulder of yours and stay positive. xx

helena said...

hey awesome shoulder your sunshine already streaked across the Atlantic and turned my frustration at time pressured work into pleasure that someone is paying me to write stuff while sitting at home and able to sneak onto blogs and pse in between writing

Ruth said...

I'm sending you and your shoulder a hug and we'll think positively together. x

Stephanie @ La Dolce Vita said...

You're amazing. Really amazing. Talk about grace under pressure. I'd still be whining! Wishing you a speedy recovery.

Jo.C said...

I need to take a leaf out of your book. Great photo.
Go shoulder :0)

Alison said...

YOU are awesome Deb!
Alison xx

debs14 said...

What a beautiful post and a great positive attitude. Having had a frozen shoulder once and calcification of the muscle there too you have my every sympathy. So, hey there Deb's wonderful shoulder, time for you to heal yourself and let her have some pain free time.

Fiona@staring at the sea said...

What a beautiful self portrait :o)
Of course your shoulder is awesome, it's part of you. I love your attitude to life and we could all learn something from it.

Jimjams said...

Fabulous photo and an inspiring post - sending you some more positive yellow sunshine across the wonderweb!

I too have a dodgy shoulder - it started last year with what I thought was a torn muscle, so I rested it. I too had random stabbing pains in my upper arm from time to time and my mobility got steadily worse. Eventually the doc sent me to a physitherapist while I waited to go to hospital - he reckoned it was freezing and encouraged me to move it into the pain threshold - it improved about 50% The hospital consultant eventually looked and reckoned it wasn't frozen, but a trapped nerve and gave me a steroid injection which gave me another 40% improvement! Who knows who is right - I'm just happy I can put my bra on again by myself!

scrappyjacky said...

What a wonderful attitude,Deb....and a wonderful photo.

traci said...

that's the attitude. not always easy to have but i am so proud of you.

Karen said...

Fabulous photo, and your always amazing attitude. The
"stupid" shoulder thing never registered with me. I always think of you as one of the most positive people I know! It will get better, but it will take time. I've had frozen shoulder and it took several months of PT to get it "unfrozen." Keep the faith!

Amy said...

Your golden light is radiating!

And, hands down best self portrait I've seen this year - Go Deb!

Carrie Rosalind said...

Aww I love this post and I love your little shoulder. <3

And I love Alison's butterfly and I love the picture.

And I love YOU!

Sian said...

Wow, you have one seriously special outlook on life. Just wow. And healing wishes too, of course.

Margaret said...

Your shoulder does its best for you everyday. It is a hero for working hard in spite of its challenges. GIve it the love!

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