Wednesday, October 31, 2012

Boo! It's Halloween!!!

Happy Halloween!

I had a whole different post written and ready for today about how we were doing nothing for Halloween this year. Doug was away on a deer hunt, and I have about 50 things to do before leaving for California again this weekend {for something fun this time: my nephew's wedding!}.


October 2012 was a bit of a bust for me. I had a few Halloween packages made up, envelopes addressed, and they never made it into the mail. These little goodies in the photos are a few that did make it out - I made Halloween treat bags for my grandma and uncle. I wonder when was the last time either of them wore a spider ring? ;o)

Unfortunately for Doug, {and fortunately for the deer} he returned from his hunt two days early empty handed. Well, except for a cool antler shed he found, and three heart shaped rocks - which makes it a successful hunt in my opinion. 


We weren't going to carve pumpkins this year, but as soon as Carrie knew that Doug would be home in time, she insisted that we do it. So, I bought a couple of pumpkins so that each of them had their own to carve, and I sat out this year. {Dumb shoulder issues still, and I had a cake to bake last night.}
 

So, this is my random Halloween post, quite a bit different than I originally planned, but that's alright by me.

It's been a very different kind of October, indeed.
But November? Well now that's gonna' be a different story.
Ima 'bout to make it amazing!

Tuesday, October 30, 2012

Team Teal Tuesday - The Plan

Hey there, blog friends ~

When my mom {Marti} was still on the planet and fighting against ovarian cancer, I occasionally posted stuff about her on Tuesdays and I called it "Team Teal Tuesday." Now that she's gone, I thought I would continue this bit here on my blog, in honor of my mom and also in an effort to bring awareness to ovarian cancer.

{Project Life pages ~ our walk for ovarian cancer awareness}

I originally chose Tuesday because it was the day Mom always received chemotherapy - every three weeks - and because I thought "Team Teal Tuesday" had a catchy tone. Ironically, my mom died on a Tuesday, so there you have it. {Three weeks ago today, but who's counting...}


The past few weeks have been rough. I've been super sad, and I've hated seeing people I love being super sad. It's a very helpless feeling when you know exactly what a sibling is feeling and there's no way to change it for them. I realize now that one of the reasons my mom did not want to go was because she knew we would be heartbroken.


Oh sure, people will say she'll always be with me, that I'll always have her in my heart, I'll always have those memories, and I know all of that to be true - that's lovely. But the logical part of my brain is screaming, "I WANT MY MOM!!!" and that's just not possible anymore.


So, once in a while, on a Tuesday, I'm going to tell a story about my mom, or share a photo, or just give you a not-so-gentle nudge to pay attention to your body and ask all the right questions.

If my mom and I can save one woman from going through what she endured, all of this will be worth something.

Monday, October 29, 2012

Weekend Recap {barely}

A good Monday morning to you, dear friends.


For whatever reason, I am on a mission these days. Ever since we've been back from California taking care of things with my mom, I have been on a crazy kick to get things done around this house. I have been cleaning out drawers and cabinets, moving knick-knacks around, rearranging shelves, and digging in the dirt.


Doug was camping/hunting with his brother this past weekend, so I didn't cook one meal. Yesterday morning I had peanut butter and jelly for brunch. I did manage a little baking, and I made a cornbread in preparation for Thanksgiving dinner. I'm making my mom's cornbread dressing to go with our meal, so the base is done and in the freezer until needed.


I was thinking about my busy-state-of-mind and wondering WHY I can't sit still. I suppose I'm still dealing with the loss of my mom ~ I don't know ~ but it does feel good to get some things organized around here. I'm on a crazy mission.


Even Rexy's space got an overhaul this weekend with some old grass being cleared out, and a new plant in the mix. This little shelled boy is moving very slowly these days. He's gearing up for his winter hibernation.

Over the weekend I planted a lot of flowers, took a bunch of photos, and worked on catching up with Project Life. I wasn't on the computer much at all, but I did sit down yesterday morning with a cup of coffee, ready to catch up on friend's blogs. Thanks to Blogger being temperamental, I didn't get very far on that.

This week I'll be helping Carrie finish up the veil she's making for my nephew's bride, and we're getting ready for another trip to California ~ for a wedding this weekend! {Sad note: my mom really wanted to make it to November for her grandson's wedding.} :o(  Anyway! Hate to end on that note, but that's how my mind works these days.

Wishing you all week filled with peace.

Friday, October 26, 2012

Just a Quote for Friday


This was on the back of a card I purchased yesterday, and I loved it so much I decided to use it for today's quote. It goes like this:

"Legends say that hummingbirds float free of time, carrying our hopes for love, joy, and celebration. The hummingbird's delicate grace reminds us that life is rich, beauty is everywhere, every personal connection has meaning and that laughter is life's sweetest creation."

Thursday, October 25, 2012

Cupcakes with Witch Appeal

Good day, friends!

I was so happy when my SIL suggested a family dinner last weekend. I needed a dose of hugs from Doug's family {plus there's babies over there!}.

I had made some witch hat cupcake toppers several weeks ago, and this little outing was the perfect excuse to bust out some cupcakes to take along. I used a devil's food cake mix, and this canned frosting that you add a flavor packet to ~ I used orange cream. It was pretty good stuff.


Here's a simple little tutorial for those who would like to know...

From left to right in the photo above:  I used punches to make two circles, one small and one a little larger. The small circle is the base of the hat, and I used a paper piercer to poke a hole in the base for the toothpick to go into later on. The larger circle gets cut in half - one half gets rolled around and I used a glue dot to adhere the little cone shape. I traced around the cone onto the small circle/base, used that as a guide for squeezing my glitter glue, then squished the cone into the ring of glitter glue. Technical, eh?


If the broom fits...

Wednesday, October 24, 2012

How my garden grows {while I'm away}

And now, for something totally different.

Next to the digital camera, I think the automated sprinkler system is the coolest invention ever.


While I was away from home helping my mom go home, my snapdragons got their daily dose of water without Doug having to bother with it.


And this pretty orange zinnia bloomed without me standing by to watch it unfold. I grew this beauty from a seed. :o)


Some hungry bug/moth/caterpillar had a big ol' party on my basil plant. Time to re-plant some marigolds around here!


Yes, my little garden survived my absence, but it's in need of some tender, loving care.
Aw, just like me these days.
This weekend...

Tuesday, October 23, 2012

Team Teal Tuesday ~ The Messages

My mom has been gone for two weeks now.
I feel her slip further away with every day that passes.
I'm not going to lie - it sucks. I'm having a tough time with this process.
{My mom loved strawberries ~ this was an arrangement sent to her services.}

I've mentioned that I was able to spend the last five days of my mom's life with her. Those days were filled with love and conversation and heartbreak and awfulness. Cancer is seriously the most cruel way ever to die, and it's also cruel to loved ones who witness the suffering of someone with cancer.

I know that my presence made my mom's journey more bearable for her, and I'm pretty sure my step-dad {Rod} was glad I was there too. In those moments of sadness, knowing that my mom didn't have long to live, there was a strength that came to me out of nowhere - a strength that I didn't know existed within me. Looking back, it all seems very surreal, and in this moment I know that I made it through with the help of prayer/good vibes/love being sent my way from all over the planet.

Blog friends, local friends, family members blessed me every moment of every day, and in turn it blessed my mom. I was there to hold her hand, to sing to her, to even smile at her and wish her a peaceful journey as she prepared to leave this world.

On the day that my mom died, I had access to the internet on my phone. As Carrie drove us from Mom's house back to my sister's, I scrolled through my messages and I couldn't believe my eyes. SO many lovely thoughts and messages were being sent to us, and beautiful blog posts were popping up to honor my mom. Oh my gosh, you guys, my mom would have LOVED that!

I couldn't leave comments that day, so I made a mental list {not completely reliable in times of duress} and vowed to gather a list of links so that Rod could read them too.

I've pieced together a list of links for blog posts that mentioned my mom, and I'm sharing them below. THANK YOU to each of you who posted about my mom, and for all of those who left such lovely comments on those posts. I have read each of them more than once, and I know others who loved my mom will appreciate them too. They are as follows:

Fiona @ Staring at the Sea ~ a beautiful image in honor of my mom.
Deb @ Deb's World ~ a sweet mention in anticipation of next spring.
Rinda @ Gallo Organico ~ a beautiful poem.
Cheri @ Scrap Dreams ~ described her feelings when she lost her mom {I just couldn't have said it better myself!}  {And she also had us in mind for her Friday quote that week.}
Karen @ Random Reflections ~ a very sweet note just before ten super cute photos of her little grandson.
Karen @ Tales from the Scrapheap ~ re-posted her lovely post from my mom's birthday party last year.
Amy @ Over at Our Place ~ a beautiful image, sentiment, and ovarian cancer awareness message.
Alison @ Life in the Slow Lane ~ a sweet note posted the day before my mom died, and this lovely poem later on.
Sian @ From High in the Sky ~ a lovely post about blog friendships.
Jo @ Curly Scrapper ~ The link to the left is for Jo's lovely 10 on the 10th post that she dedicated to ovarian cancer awareness. There are two other posts that are very noteworthy with regard to a Team Teal quilting bee: part I and part II.
And finally,
Stephanie @ La Dolce Vita ~ said it best with her "Thank You" message for the loveliness that is blogging friendship.

If I've missed anyone, please let me know so I can add you to this list. I don't want Rod to miss one little bit of the love you've shown in honor of my mom.

And finally, an extra special thank you for all of your lovely comments, emails, cards, love, and support during this difficult time. I'm looking forward to this sad part being behind us, and all of your little reminders help push me in that direction. I am so very grateful for each of you.

♥ ~ Deb

Friday, October 19, 2012

Just a Favor for Friday

Hello friends ~

While I was in California last week I had access to the internet via my phone. I was able to glimpse at Google Reader, and I noticed that several of you included notes about my mom in posts on your blogs. I wasn't able to comment at the time, and I vowed to go back and have a look later.

Today I'm asking a little favor. If you mentioned my mom in a blog post, even just a sentence or two, could you please leave a link to your post in the comment section here? {Or you can email me: paperturtle[at]cox[dot]net.} I want to go back and read your words, and I also want to gather a list of links to share with my step-dad {Rod}, my Aunt Sharon, and a couple of my mom's close friends.

While I haven't been able to respond to all of the lovely comments and emails, please know that your kind words have helped to lift and carry me through these past few weeks. You are all just simply wonderful!

With love and gratitude,
~ Deb

Wednesday, October 17, 2012

A Touch of Teal

You know how I said I wouldn't be blogging for a while? Well, it was mostly because I didn't want to upload the photos from my camera. You see, there were photos on my camera that I knew would be super sad to look at - photos of my mom a few days before she left that I knew would break my heart.


I thought I'd wait about uploading them until I wasn't feeling so sad, but I'm not sure when that will be. And I struggled with that because I knew the longer I waited, the harder it would be. Plus, I needed to get it over with so I could get that off my mind.


I sat down on Monday night and got it over with. And you know what? It wasn't so bad. There was a photo of my mom and sister - one that my mom insisted that I take. Mom looks very ill in the photo, but she is smiling a sweet, happy smile. It took me back to the afternoon that my sister and I spent with our mom, when she was still feeling well enough to have a conversation. Yes, Mom was sick, but she was genuinely happy to be chatting with her daughters, and her expression makes that very clear.


I didn't take many photos while I was in California last week. I typically come back from a weekend with my family and have at least 200 photos. This recent visit spanned the course of 10 days, and I only had 56 photos. And what I expected to be a really sad review from our trip, turned out to be a very uplifting photo collection of faces of the people I love so much. It totally lifted my spirits!


So, about this break from blogging; I'm not sure how that looks right now. I'm realizing that blogging feeds my soul and maybe, just maybe, it's just what this heartache needs. Plus, I need to make something crafty and I think that will be a really nice break for all of us!

Monday, October 15, 2012

In Memory of My Mom


My dear blog friends,

Many of you are already aware that my dear mother's pain and suffering ended last Tuesday, October 9, 2012. I was able to spend the last five days of her life with her, and while there were some horrible things about those days, the blessings wrapped around that time are too numerous to count.

I feel a sadness like I've never known, but I also feel blessed beyond measure. I've traded worrying about my mom's well being to missing her so much, and I know you'll understand that I won't be blogging much over the next week or so.

The love and support showered upon us over this past week has been incredible and we are extremely grateful.

With love and gratitude,
~ Deb

Friday, October 5, 2012

Just a Quote for Friday


"Sometimes it may seem dark,
but the absence of the light is a necessary part.
Over the horizon is another bright sky."
 
Jason Mraz lyrics "93 Million Miles"

Wednesday, October 3, 2012

Road Trip and Teacher Crush

{motion sickness warning}

 
Driving to Canyon Lake on Arizona Highway 88 last weekend,
David Lee Roth / Van Halen "Hot for Teacher" on the radio...
 
Me: "Hey Doug, who was your teacher crush in school?"
Doug {without hesitation}: "Seniorita Famusa."
Me: "Oh, you do like those Latino girls, don't you? Was she cute?"
Doug: "Oh yeah!"
 
My teacher crush was Mr. Rossini. He was our high school English teacher, and I had him for Driver's Ed too. Oooh I had a crush on him! I once wrote a story about a friend who had moved away, and he liked it so much he read it out loud to the class. :o) ~swoon~
 
Do tell, who was your teacher crush?
We all had one - right?

Tuesday, October 2, 2012

Team Teal Tuesday ~ The Serendipity of Friendship

Serendipity: the act of finding something valuable
or delightful when you are not looking for it.
I hope everyone who reads this blog post has had this experience: you’re going about your merry {or troubled} way when all of a sudden, out of nowhere, appears a new friend at just the right time. And you know in an instant that person is going to be a friend for life.
No? Just me?
Ok, well, if it hasn’t happened to you yet, it will.
I believe that 100%!

Judi and my mom, Marti ~ April 2012
Take my mom and her friend, Judi, for instance. Last December, these ladies met while receiving chemo treatments. In a room full of chemo-chairs, Mom and Judi ended up side-by-side and by the end of the day they were fast friends. Both of these ladies actually looked forward to chemo days because they knew they’d see each other and be able to visit.

Judi completed her chemo treatments {thank Heaven for her remission!} and for a while my mom was receiving chemo treatments every three weeks. On those chemo days, Judi would drive the distance to sit and visit while my mom received her medication {the process can take hours}. I just can’t tell you what a comfort and amazing support that was for my mom on those days to know that Judi would be there for her. And it was comforting for me too, to know that my mom had a sweet friend there to hold her hand, pray with her, and listen as she reminisced about her life before cancer.  
You know how some people are just so much like angels that you wonder how they hide their wings? Judi is one of those people. Not only has she been an amazing friend to my mother, but she has also become a sweet support for me – dare I call her my own friend too? Yes, I do.

So, I could curse cancer {and I do} and be angry at its wicked ways {and I am}, but how wonderful to also recognize the blessings that are hidden. Like the wonderful way that it brought my mom a new friend, and the way it is teaching me so many lessons about cherishing life and letting go.
Oh sure, I’ll always hate cancer,
but I’ll always love that it brought us Judi.

Monday, October 1, 2012

A Weekend in Turtle-ville

Greetings, friends.
We are hobbling along with a gimpy computer, and as I type I fully expect to be bounced out of Blogger, but I'll type fast and see if I can beat this thing!
* * * * * * * * *
Saturday morning Doug and I packed a picnic lunch {ok, I packed the lunch, Doug got the car ready} and took a drive to Canyon Lake.

It was quite the little adventure. We drove up past the lake looking for a picnic spot with less people, found nothing, turned around to go back down to the lake marina, saw the sign that said we needed a day-pass, turned around and drove back up to the place we'd already been to buy a pass, then drove back to the marina to find that the day-lot was full. Sheesh! We ended up finding a place along the side of the road and ate lunch with lots of cars driving by. We were good sports about the whole thing though, and had a few laughs in spite of the little frustrations.


I'm loving Project Life, and I took some time this weekend to work on a few pages. Once in a while I'll throw in a little layout {as opposed to slipping photos in slots}.

We met Doug's brother and my SIL for breakfast yesterday morning...

Here's us at breakfast...
Aw, I love this guy so much!
All in all, a very nice weekend.

This will be a busy week for me. I have lots going on at work, plus a whole bunch of personal stuff happening. Fun thing: I'm going to see Jason Mraz with Carrie tomorrow night{!!!} And then I'm getting ready for another trip to California on Friday to see my mom. My mom was admitted to the hospital yesterday afternoon and is really suffering ~ Team Teal support greatly appreciated!!! xo
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